Silly Thoughts on the Tiny Ads

keep an eye out for scorpions and black widows.  But the tiny ads are safe.

Figures I had to read this tonight before turning in.  Now I will be thinking of spiders...especially since I left my muck boots outside to air out.  

I would much prefer tiny ads featuring snakes😀 I like snakes.

Maybe "catch it before it slithers away! Oh wait, it's a tiny ad"

added yours and one more:

catch it before it slithers away! Oh wait, it's a tiny ad:
snakes are really good at eating slugs.  And you wouldn't think it, but so are tiny ads:

This is awkward.  I've grown a second evil head.  I'm going to need a machete and a tiny ad ...

That was disturbing but great!

passwords must contain 14 characters, a number, punctuation, a small bird, a bit of cheese and a tiny ad.
But what if the bird eats the cheese? "Out of cheese error, Redo from start"
Points if you get that reference, without google  :)

passwords must contain 14 characters, a number, punctuation, a small bird, a bit of cheese and a tiny ad.  

Perfect!  I added it to the list verbatim!

I now have 142 in my current list.   When it gets to 200 I will add them to the server.

paul wheaton wrote:

passwords must contain 14 characters, a number, punctuation, a small bird, a bit of cheese and a tiny ad.  

Perfect!  I added it to the list verbatim!

Hahah. It IS one of yours :) I saw it in an email... duplicate, if you added it :D
Glad you like your own work :D

Snowflakes: the only things more perfect and individual are tiny ads.

Pearl Sutton wrote:

paul wheaton wrote:

passwords must contain 14 characters, a number, punctuation, a small bird, a bit of cheese and a tiny ad.  

Perfect!  I added it to the list verbatim!

Hahah. It IS one of yours :) I saw it in an email... duplicate, if you added it :D
Glad you like your own work :D

:)

I guess I don't remember writing that one!  

Keep the ideas coming!

Tina Hillel wrote:Snowflakes: the only things more perfect and individual are tiny ads.

Hmmmm .....  

How about:   every snowflake is perfect and unique.  And every snowflake contains a very tiny ad.

??

Paul: want another chunk of my quote files? I won't try to make them into ads this time, you do better than me on that...

paul wheaton wrote:

Tina Hillel wrote:Snowflakes: the only things more perfect and individual are tiny ads.

Hmmmm .....  

How about:   every snowflake is perfect and unique.  And every snowflake contains a very tiny ad.

??

I like that version better!

Pearl Sutton wrote:Paul: want another chunk of my quote files? I won't try to make them into ads this time, you do better than me on that...

Go ahead and put it up here and we'll see what I can do with it.

Paul: Another chunk of quotes for you to play with! Some of this batch was more philosophical than funny, I'm going through my stuff in order so I know what I have sent you already. I chose the ones you might like out of large files, I try to err on the side of  too many options, take or leave any you wish :D


I'm sorry the house smells like walrus

When you are in a dark place, you sometimes tend to think you have been buried. Perhaps you have been planted. Bloom!

Vacuum cleaners with all those attachments to clean everything from the curtains to the baby.

Man on ladder, directed by woman below- not good.

It's like being concerned about the color of the kitchen wallpaper when there's a grease fire.

What I really want to do is go back into my black hole at the core of the galaxy and pull the stars up over my head.

My gut felt as though armadillos were engaging in sexual intercourse in it.

He has more snakes in his attic than is particularly healthy.

The Doppler effect of communication: There is always distortion between what a speaker says and what the listener wants it to mean.

The centrifugal force of arguments: The farther you move from the core of the problem, the faster the situation spins out of control.

He wouldn't have noticed if she suddenly turned into a crocodile and started singing “Streets of Laredo.”

Instead of loving your enemies, try treating your friends a little better.

What is now proved was once only imagination.

It’s the rats, they did get in after all!

If a man could pass through paradise in a dream, and pluck a flower there, and if he found the flower in his hand when he awoke, what then?

A half hour in the garden is enough to make your soul pure.

It costs no more to see good omens than bad.

Adventure is when you toss your life on the scales of chance and wait for the pointer to stop.

What I wish has never had any bearing on reality.

This, whatever it may be, is certainly no woodchuck.

How many of the ideas that changed the world have been fathered by hangovers?

If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got.

Most of us want to change the world, but only a few of us are willing to change our own minds.

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

It’s common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

I hope pigeons will flock to the statues they build in your honor.

The way to make sure something gets done is to start it.

What do you have to offer the world if you are just like everyone else?

If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

If you smile when you lose, then you win in life.

The devil finds work for empty heads.

Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.

I tried normalcy once. Didn’t like it.

If at first you do succeed, try something harder.

I have abandoned the search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy.

And now it seems the upper hand is on the other foot!

Most deadly errors come from obsolete assumptions.

“Going my way?” “No. And I don’t know which way you’re going, either.”

The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

Just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

No matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

Money doesn't buy class.

One should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

The less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Is that a sockmonkey in your pants?

I suggest you fasten your seatbelt and prepare to take an airbag in the face.

I wrestled with reality for 36 years, and I'm happy to say I finally won out over it.

I have lost my mind and I am making no effort to look for it.

"I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m exhausted from being so freakin awesome yesterday"

I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.

Oh no! Not another learning experience!!

Lock up your sanity, we assume no responsibility for its loss

I don't have a "honey-do" list. I have a "I'll freaking do it myself list”.  And guess what?  Shit gets done!

They can’t brainwash you if you aren’t listening.

Please don't feed the dust bunnies!

Reality is what doesn't go away when you stop believing in it.

If we have to, we can all go to Hell together – maybe there’s a group rate.

There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.

When the going gets tough, everybody should crawl under the dinette table of his or her choice and commence whimpering.

Sorry to put manure on your bouquet...

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

I have no experience that would allow me to speculate on the minimum viscosity requirements for an intelligent liquid.

My ancestors didn’t give strangers gifts. They gave them syphilis.

Intuition is just your brain telling you the answer to a question without mentioning how it solved the problem.

I just added 201 new tiny ads.

Here are two:

And then the flying monkeys attacked.  My only defense was this tiny ad:
Dinner will be steamed monkey heads with a side of tiny ads.

ROFL!!!

Thanks I needed that!

I was thinking for a long while we should have a place to rate the tiny ads. Sometimes silly, sometimes buddhist, sometimes . . . Obviously Paul.

Cheers to Pearl and Travis for the thread and the rating system, and Paul's fertile mind.

Are all the tiny ads in one place to read? Please?

If people like a tiny ad, they just need to click on the link.   The system shows the popular tiny ads more than the less popular tiny ads.

The whole list is not shared, but i can tell you that the most popular ad of all time is:

It's exactly the same and completely different as this tiny ad:

And the least popular ad of all time is:

The fastest and most reliable components of any system are those that are not there. Tiny ad:

And just for kicks, here is another tiny ad that i added today:

Friends help you move. Good friends help you move bodies. This tiny ad will help:

Pearl Sutton wrote:You ought to ventilate your mind and let the cobwebs out of it. Use this cup to catch the tiny ads:
Are there tiny ads in there!? Get the shop vac!!!
Singing to the tune of The Cranberries "Zombie"  
What's in your head, in your head? Tiny ads, tiny ads, tiny ads and cobwebs!!

Oh, Oh, Oh!

You know the saying, "Never sleep with anyone crazier than you"?  At any moment 1/2 the people are breaking that rule!

It's less important where you live than how you live.  The only place you really ever live is between your own ears.

paul wheaton wrote:If people like a tiny ad, they just need to click on the link.   The system shows the popular tiny ads more than the less popular tiny ads.

Since reading this I have been paying particular attention to the Tiny Ads.

How do you differentiate popularity between clicks for the Tiny Ad product and clicks for the Tiny Ad itself?

We don't.

We are your singing garbage men, Sir and Madam, and we march in cadence behind you, chanting rhymes that some think odd.


From Canticle for Leibowitz

Y'all gotta keep in mind that the tiny ads have to be kept pretty tiny.   And then there needs to be a mention of the tiny ad.  

I think a general limit is that 95% of the tiny ads need to be shorter than 80 characters long.   And the 5% that go longer need to not go much longer, and they better be super good to go longer.

my favorite is "He's dead, Jim!  You grab his wallet and I'll grab this tiny ad!"

When I was a young WartHoooooog!  I wrote this tiny ad.

We are the Knights of NEE!  and we demand a tiny ad!

Take two tiny ads and call me in the morning.

Well the reference was to Dr Hook (smear my body up with butter).

meow meow meow tiny ad meow meow

I think I'm turning Japanese.  I really think so.   This tiny ad thinks so too:

These are the top five tiny ads - each getting about 3.07% CTR

It's exactly the same and completely different as this tiny ad:
I'm still in control here. LOOK at this tiny ad!
The human mind is a dangerous plaything. This tiny ad is pretty safe:
It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood - Fred Rogers. Tiny ad:
Ruth Stout was famous for gardening naked. Just like this tiny ad:


These are the worst five tiny ads - each getting about 0.27% CTR

I think he's gonna try to grab my monkey. Do we have a monkey outfit for this tiny ad?
Did you miss me? Did you miss this tiny ad?
Friends help you move. Good friends help you move bodies. This tiny ad will help:
Quick! Before anybody notices! Cover it up with this tiny ad:
I'm all tasted up for a BLT! This tiny ad wants a monte cristo!

I LOVE that outfit! Do they make it in YOUR size?

T Melville wrote:I LOVE that outfit! Do they make it in YOUR size?

Oh darling! You make that outfit POP! -- tiny ad

Now THAT'S a nice looking drinking glass! I could really see myself taking a drink from it, or out of this tiny ad.

Kenneth Elwell wrote:Now THAT'S a nice looking drinking glass! I could really see myself taking a drink from it, or out of this tiny ad.

Gotta be a little shorter ...

What a beautiful glass! Yoink! This glass is not the property of this tiny ad:

Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn. But I do give this tiny ad: