Whoa, that was kind of intense reading this
thread. Thanks for sharing a lot of important concerns. Navigating one of life’s major challenges for sure. Health issues and circumstances have inspired me to reflect on aging, family structure, culture, finances, elder care, self care, and so on. Still pretty baffled and bruised by it all so no great solutions here. More of a warning. But very curious in my own brain injury way. Whatever that is....it feels like coming out or something...saying the doctors now think I’ve had a undiagnosed TBI and several recurring TBI’s all these decades since childhood. I feel like an alien. Bring it on...lol
FYI, I heard reports about Japan as they have a big aging issue. High percentage of population is elderly. Some of the 60-70 year old people help take care of the 80-90 year old people. I think Northern Europe does also. The Scandinavians are pretty resourceful. What do the Swedes do? And as was mentioned in a previous comment, what do the Africans do?
Combining a
Permaculture community with a elderly community was a idea I suggested to my parents several times. No reply except the stock “who’s going to pay for it” in a very negative cynical tone response. I didn’t know how to respond to the negativity except to say “ I’ll pitch in every cent I can earn and do a lot of the labor” (Here comes the brain injured martyr). But after enduring further neglect or negativity I responded with depression. So there it ended. Proposing a cooperative elderly community in Kenya where my Mum lives seemed to have potential due to lower costs and gentler climate. It was another dead end. More stock responses.
It seems Im the one person in my parents small shrinking family that has tried to do things together cooperatively since day one to the chagrin and rejection by everyone else in the family. This wasn’t stoicism it was extreme stoicism. They all seem to prefer to seek the easiest path and opportunities and seek money or social standing to acquire services. I feel like I’ve been born into a family of ecological curmudgeons. Hiding behind their computers, alcohol, foolish pride, and projections. Or they just put their head in the sand. Maybe they know something I don’t. Money rules?! Maybe they are simply waiting until the need to depend on someone is more urgent. I was thinking differently. A
Permaculture community, affordable paid-for facilities, food forests, abundance, water and food security, etc, doesn’t appear overnight. I was trying to plan far ahead. It takes years even decades to find good acreage, plan it, pay for it, heal it, develop it harmoniously, work the bugs out, learn how to get along and trust each other,.... Yadi Yada. I think that was just too much for them. Too many video
games to play, beers to drink, and holes to hide in. So I made the mistake of becoming desperate, impulsive, gullible, and naive and diving in and overcommiting with another family. Little did I know I’d been targeted by a ruthless narcissist. Well after 20 years of backbreaking work, financial martyrdom , untreated injuries, and personal neglect and suffering I accomplished an 20
acre abundant and thriving site with new buildings. 10000
trees planted. And fixed the old buildings and barns which is brutal work. Fixed the rental house for income. Built a new superinsulated house. Built a 4 bay
workshop in which to earn income. A plant nursery. Managed the animals......I see why old buildings are bulldozed mostly. It’s endless work and I was allergic to the dust and mold also.
Shortly after the new buildings were complete I was told to leave. What!! Even though 20 years earlier I was promised equal partnership and would never need to worry about money or land. But I couldn’t remember exactly until later. In a sort of state of denial and numbness I continued doing work on the food forests, plant nursery, solar, conservation, and workshop construction until the sheriffs literally pushed me off the property. Lived in my car briefly then moved a Motorhome to another neglected farm (with permission). Then I discovered that the plot against me evolved for several years. They defamed and slandered me bearing false witness to a judge to have me removed. This was a plot to escape having to recompense me anything for 20 years work and rob me of my work and property. But it felt like they were taking my family and children when they took the Permaculture site and land. I didn’t even care about the money. It hit me at an emotional level. But I
should have cared about the money from the beginning. Unfortunately that’s how this system, if you can call it that, works. No money, no proof, no justice. It was my word against theirs. And they ganged up on me. I could have robbed them blind over that 20 years if I thought and plotted like they did. But I didn’t. They did. I was thinking in win win terms and assumed they were too.
I had a nervous breakdown and couldn’t defend myself so they got away with it completely. They have to live with themselves but I wouldn’t be surprised if they somehow forgot all about the promises they made. Narcissists can be so assured in their supreme entitled righteousness. Now I endure joint injuries, hiatal hernia, depression, anxiety, ptsd, poverty, ...Yadi Yada. I even sold my land in Hawaii to help fund the work I did. While they made endless excuses to not lift a finger. OMG, Sounds like a country song doesn’t it. I sometimes get pissed and feel sick on top of it all from the stress. But I have recently learned that a early undiagnosed traumatic brain injury prevented me from standing up for myself. I just immersed myself in my work like an obedient slave while they and the head narcissist took full advantage of it. The daily headaches and weird hearing, speech, and concentration symptoms made it impossible for me to deal properly with people like that. They would gaslight me when I did try to assert myself and stand up for myself. In a brain injured state I could not manage that. I sometimes wonder if in a real old fashioned village no one could get away with such deceit and falsehood.
So where are the Permaculture communities for the elderly?. I’ll do my share and make the slackers look bad so they will want to destroy me before they are exposed for the phonies they are. Just kidding but I make my point. I hope I’ve learned my lesson. But these people will find other targets to abuse, defraud, and hurt. Im no Odysseus who returns to his Kingdom to roust out the suitors. I’m no Robin Hood. I got my butt whooped instead. That’s not how the story was meant to go. I guess I have a hero/martyr complex lol. No I simply tried to live with honor and integrity and got royally screwed. But the world is a better place. And I am left wondering about self fulfilling prophecies planted in the subconscious. It would have been good to get a settlement so I could buy some land instead of being on the street. Nah, I’ll seek a new life being a Nomadic vagabond and enjoy the little
freedom left. And sow good seeds of communion as I can.
This brings up another topic: Where are the Permaculture communities for people who have been defrauded?? And are entering elder years?
And a warning to the naive or brain injured: be careful, people you think you know can turn into vicious strangers when it comes to land and money. You’ve been warned. The elderly can and do get preyed upon also. If this message helps prevent even one other person from getting ripped off then there’s some good come from it. And don’t be angry at the bad guys. Let’s keep working on win win regenerative solutions. Put the energy into something healing. Thanks, rant over.
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