J Anders wrote:I live in a small town in the midwest. Small 1 bedroom house 2.5 car garages.
Whole place is basically permaculture, 7 fruit trees, 40x40 garden that I use a full complement of david bradley implements on, strawberry patch and asparagus patch. Lot is 150x60.
I like what we've got here. If I could just add 5 acres onto it I'd personally be happy. However.... my wife doesn't help with the garden much at all nor does she seem to want to conserve money at all. We go out to eat way too much and rarely save any money. Some of that is my fault because I do get disability for being severely hard of hearing and run a small (nearly negative cash flow by design) handyman business. All my profits are reinvested in tools and the mileage deduction is real nice. My wife is a former city girl and I grew up in a small town so now I've seen that we really have opposite views on life. I'd be happy staying at home, drinking mint tea and singing kumbaya all day and she likes to go to the city that is 60 miles away just for a sonic chili dog. We do have a prius so it's not that expensive to do it... just the whole mindset annoys me. Money in the bank = lets go have fun/go shopping.... no planning for the future at all and no interest in going to the park just to go for walks and such. She does work a full-time job with crazy hours, lots of shifts 3-11 which is hard for me as I normally do handyman work 9-5. She SAYS she loves having a garden and all that jazz but I get no SUPPORT. If I want something preserved I have to do everything all by myself.
I was born and raised 30 miles from where we live now.... but I'm also fed up with living in the middle of corn and beans that gets sprayed every year. I personally have lived in the Ozarks for 3 months in a camper remodeling a friend's house.... and my wife and I spent a week on vacation at my friend's house staying in a hotel. Now the friend is mad at me because he feels that I owe him $2000 so we haven't talked in a few years but I'd like to pay it eventually. My wife doesn't want anything to do with said friend and would rather buy our own place in the Ozarks. But.... I don't want to buy a place with her when she doesn't do very much around the place we've got now and talks about D. all the time.
I'll be inheriting a nice sum of money- not enough to pay cash for a $150K acreage but enough to really make a dent in the purchase price and could pay cash for the right place. I don't think I'd mind living in rugged conditions for awhile but I'm pretty sure my wife has no interest in that. We have no kids and I don't see them anywhere in the future due to my wife's health.
Hopefully you can read between the lines and see what I'm getting at. Just feeling really discouraged. I've looked forward to this inheritance for 15 years now and now that it's almost time to get it I'm quite torn on what to do. So hard to do something when I feel like I'm being sabotaged by my wife who just sees "money to spend" while I see a potential way to get myself set up for life. We do have $4K in cc that should be paid off that we don't seem to be able to pay off for over 5 years as well, that's $120 every month. What I'd like is support in setting up the handyman business and going out to flip houses until we have enough cash to buy a $150K acreage but I don't see my wife supporting that idea at this point. She'd like me to buy her a new minivan for $5K.... we don't need a minivan at this point in time. Do I give her a D and find someone else who has more financial skills and common sense... or what? I don't want to look back in 5 years and say that I should have flipped houses instead of blowing the money on things she wants.
So hard when it feels like I'm doing everything by myself when a good marriage should be about common goals and dreams. I hate to give her a D but the fact of the matter even spiritually we are quite distant as she has very little interest in in-depth discussion of spiritual topics. Which is ironic as she claims she loves Revelation and took a class on it in school, but has never discussed it with me to any length. I grew up Ind. Baptist and she grew up the daughter of a Wesleyan minister so you'd think we have something to talk about but she has no interest in discussing. I spend most of my time on the computer researching and she spends most of her time watching various TV shows that I try to tell her (why) they are bad to watch but she has no interest in listening. The other night she was watching America's Got Talent with that damn demon that came on... I did NOT appreciate that at all. It's been over 7 years and I'm nearly 35 now.
Jennie Little wrote:When we lived n the high desert, I bought some seeds from native seed/search. You can find them at native seed dot org.
Jennie Little wrote:My husband and I lived in the high desert for 6 years, near China Lake. I’d love to retire there, but if I do, it will be without him, as he’s allergic to the dust.
I think this is a wonderful thread you started, thank you! I am certainly interested in learning more skills and fostering less dependency.