Jeff Marchand

A travelling salesman was plying his wares at a small country farm.  He asks the farmer about a three legged pig that seems to have free run of the place.  
"That pig is the best big you ever hope to see! Last year we had a small fire in the barn, That pig bust out of his pen and woke us up.  He saved the farm that day!"
"Did he loose his leg in the fire?" asks the salesman.
"Oh no, you cant eat a pig that good all at once!"

A man asks his sister to watch his house and cat while he takes an extended vacation.  
Half way through his vacation he checks in, "How is Fluffy?"
"He is dead, he fell out of tree and got hit by a car".  
"How could you break the news to me like that?  You need to soften the blow somehow. Like tell me his is stuck up a tree and then when I call next then you tell me he fell and got run over.  My God what is wrong with you?  Anyways how is Mom?"

His sister pauses for a long while and says " She is stuck up a tree"

My dirty little secret is that I am an economist by training.  Here are some jokes you might like about my profession:

A mathematician, a statistician and an economist all apply for the same job at an investment bank.  They are all asked what does 1+1 equal?
The mathematician says " my theorem is that 1+1 equals 2 and here is my 10 page proof".
The statistician says " given a large enough sample and a well designed survey, I would say that 1+1 equals 2. 19 times out of every 20".
The economist closes the blinds, looks around and says "What do you want it to be?"

An economist is at a bar, playing darts.  His first dart is at the 12 0'clock position and his second dart is at the 6 O'clock position. He yells "BULLSEYE".


A few hours later a police officier helps that same economist look for his car keys under a street lamp. After a half an hour of searching the police officer asks if he is certain he lost his keys here.  The economist replies "No, I dropped them over there". The policeman asks why are they looking here then?  "Because this is where the light is!"


A few nights later that same free-market economist and an investmant banker are walk back from the bar when the banker stoops down to pick up a $20 bill lying on the ground.  The economist stops him and says "don't do that!" Why not asks the banker.  "It must be counterfeit, otherwise someone else would have picked it up already!"

Thats all I got for my chosen profession.  What you got for yours?

A farmer won the big lottery the other week.  When asked what he planned to do with his millions he replied "Keep farming till its all gone!"

I have nt hit slug season yet.  Ill let you know.  Its been very dry here this summer and if it keeps up I might not have a slug problem this season

Hi Joe, Ive been humanuring for nearly 10 years.  Thank you so much for developing such a simple and useful solution for dealing with our bodily excreta (NOT WASTE!) while  producing valuable garden fertilizer.

I have found to be my favourite cover material are wood pellets.  They are dry, clean, cheap and widely available.

Not the mother goose kind!

I want to start a tree nursery for my personal supply. I have 50 acres I want to put into sylvopasture. I have collected lots of butternut, walnut, honey locust and black cherry seeds/nuts.  I am storing them in an un heated barn  all winter to cold stratefy them.  Plan is simply to plant them in rows as if they were an annual crop  and mulch with woodchips .  Its a simple plan but there must be more to it than than.  

Can anyone recomend any good books on the subject?

Next year ill diversify with acorns and apple seeds.

I recommend you look into Joe Jenkins and the Humanure Handbook. If you want to be self sufficient then incinerating all that natural fertilizer you and your girlfriend produces each day at great cost seems crazy to me. If you follow the Humanure Handbook each adult will produce one cubic yard of   high quality, safe fertilizer for your gardens and/or fruit trees.

Even with an incolet you will need to deal with your grey water, even in the winter time.  In a northern climate,  I found the cheapest and easiest  solution to deal with grey water that I could get my local authorities to accept is a septic tank.  If I ever decide to sell I can just hook up my toilet again and Im good to go.

Wow C. What a score!!! I would nt worry about bad stuff in ashes. His birds are part of the food chain right?  If you had any reason to be concerned about bad stuff in ashes then his chickens or eggs would nt be fit to eat.


Maybe you could work out a deal to get his manure too!

Too many variables for anyone over the internet to advise you on how much to put on. Best I can say "Use your judgment".

Im trying to work out a crop rotation where I give crops that need phosphorus and potassium ashes and bone char and they are followed by plants that need more nitrogen.

For instance I believe brascicas, carrots , onions and legumes need more P & K than N. My understanding is potatoes like lots of N,P&K but dont like alkalinity that ash gives so i follow brassicas that got lots of composted manure and ash l, with potatoes. Spuds dont like fresh manure so by the time they get to bed manure is 2 years old.

I have an embarrassment of riches when it comes to composted manure so after potatoes bed gets more composted manure and 3 sisters are planted.

If anyone knows other annuals that need lots of P & K. Can you share?

1- I raise organic grass fed beef,
2-I love home made soup
3-I hate waste
4- I love to garden
5-I heat exclusively with wood

So because of 1&2&5 I have lots beef bones that have been boiled for hours, days even over wood fire. Most people would just throw the bones out.  But we permies are not most people are we? I put bones in the wood fire where the residual fat burns off and the bones turn into nice crumbly bone char which along with the ashes, and accidental charcoal go in the garden.

Now everyone may not have the bone supply I do but Ive not heard of anyone else doing this but its such a simple and elegant solution I think everyone with a woodstove who eats meat should do.  Not only does it return minerals to the soil but I would think the charred bones are bio char just like any other biomass.

Thoughts?