Different people seem to have different tolerances for "fairness". My natural tendency is to be constantly calculating who did what. But no two people see things the same way and it's a great way to cause strife.
My daughter is a bit of a piggy in the house, has always been, and in the past it led to some issues. She moved out two years ago to go to college, but thanks to pandemic business she moved back a few weeks ago. I told myself that instead of taking stock of who did what and how unfair it is, I was going to focus instead on how much I missed her while she was gone and how happy I am just to have her back at home. Like the example above, just her presence here gives me benefits, and I'm willing to stop making tick marks to see who did what.
M Wilcox, have you talked about feeling put-upon? Or talked about what tasks you do that she could take over? Since food and wifi, clean clothes, power, etc all come from somewhere, it seems like maybe there could be some sort of redistribution. Nobody LIKES to do housework (I actually don't mind washing dishes or clothes, shhhh), but part of being an adult is having to take responsibility for your own care (or part with some of your money or other talents to compensate someone else for doing it for you).
[not that anyone asked, but in my experience the old "i'm going to stop cooking/cleaning/washing dishes/etc until they start carrying their weight" never, ever, ever works. There is a great story I read called "He's never going to put that shirt away" about a women who leaves a shirt in the same place for 8 months hoping her husband will get a clue and start cleaning up after himself. He eventually picks up the shirt, and when she points it out he mentions he also put away her socks which she herself had piggishly left somewhere.]