Some wise words there my friend.
Do you know why friendships are maintained? Because each one "gets" something. The something can be wise words, a hot meal, a pat on the back etc.
Relationships are transactions because if there is not a transaction there is no relationship, like buyer and seller, parent and child. Parent, child, sibs are a matter of kinship, you know them because of birth. Friendships, marriages, coworkers are by choosing to be "in" the relationship. Marriage is better if both partners share the same values, ethics, morals there are fewer disagreements. These relationships are built on time, exchanges between the parties, feelings or emotions which elicit memories of good, bad or indifferent times spent together.
People do change, most of the time not much, unless there is a "shattering" event. This could be death or sickness, or as simple as one partner seeing the other partner clearly (taking off their own rose colored glasses) for the first time. It is how the two decide to either establish a different relationship or break or shatter the existing one.
People are not easy. How do we learn to be sociable people? from the ones around us and sometimes genes deal us a rotten hand to play out in life.
As you say building the soil is improving yourself - maybe self care and caring for what you have. As i have counseled - when someone has gone through a bad break up - go take care of your life - your self - your dream - you will stumble over the right person and if by chance you do not - be content with what you have made for and of yourself. You are the only person who can make you happy!
TS do you mind my asking what your relationship status is?