Walking away from or walking towards something

Living life at the mercy of cliche.  

The grass is always greener blah blah blah.  Listen, I get it, I really do. Making rash decisions when under stress is often not a good thing to do. Usually emotions are running high when this happens to me and I usually do end up in a worse situation. Lately though, on the heels of losing pretty much everything that means anything to me, and still stuck facing the same bleak future which has always bothered me about our greedy money driven society, I am certain that I am not running away when I am painfully aware that I have been systematically excluded from re-entering that circus after being disabled for a number of years.

Life happens, often catching us off guard. I witnessed my condition beginning to stabilize a few years ago during a time when other events began to happen. Cancer, Not me, my mother. Pancreatic cancer. Then my relationship followed, then my home, the loss of friends, peer support, it was a long drawn out nightmare which put me at the mercy of whatever came along. Then my grandmother. Cancer. It was pretty quick. Then it was a rapid deterioration of my condition, shredding my self esteem, self worth, my ability to think clearly. I came to the realization that I had been walking around is a state of shock and hopelessness. That was two and a half years ago. Nearly every day since then has amounted to the same end result. No green. No Grass. I don't have the energy to draft a clever speech for a TED talk. I don't have a get rich quick idea. I have the same thing I had as a kid, a need for shelter, food, a family and community, and work suited form my ability.

I don't find myself on this website by accident. Five years ago I began trying to move towards a more sustainable self governed life with other like minded people. I want to grow my own food. I want to build my own shelter. I want to help others do these things as well. So badly that it makes me gut sick to not be able to find the place and the people and the opportunity to do so. I was once a very gifted craftsman, musician, artist and writer. These things begin to slip away when you lose your voice in the world.  I am looking for a place to walk towards that is established. A community that is already doing these things. I do not want to do anything else but change my life by completely changing my lifestyle with a strong community of people who are skilled at living off their own powers and creative community spirit. I am sick, I need a place to do this because it is now the only thing that makes sense to me completely.

I am in Arizona, My tools are in Connecticut. My brother is in Pennsylvania, My daughter is in upstate New York. I have a good friend in Cincinatti, Ohio. Any of these locations hold a slight possibility for me but without a community there to receive me and give me something to do, I am not going to last long on my own.

Willing to travel with the clothes on my back and the skills that I possess, I just need the opportunity from a compassionate community.

Thank you for your consideration.

Gary

Howdy Gary, welcome to permies!  Have you heard of WWoofing?  There are all sorts of folks out there who need help with their projects , they are just looking for good folks who are willing to trade work for a place to stay and an opportunity to be part of a community.  https://wwoofusa.org/

I went to the site but it basically says that you go spent a half a day helping and learning and they feed you and let you stay the night. I cant spend money on a membership that has no real opportunity to land somewhere permanently or at least for a big block of time.  That was why I joined this site. to find a place that is established and looking for people to come and stay there and become part of it, not just visit. Thanks for the suggestion though, If i had the money to spend I would sign up and look deeper but I really don't.

Intentional Communities Directory:  http://www.ic.org/directory/

There's also Wheaton Labs: https://permies.com/f/102/labs

Hi Gary. Welcome to Permies. There's also a forum here at Permies:
Intentional Community

Thank you Tyler and Karen! I have been digging deep into these. I have also just applied to one community through IC.

I am excited about the possibilities!

I'm sorry I have nothing to add about your situation, but your picture reminds me of a baby squirrel I am bottle feeding right now.  I found it huddled in the corner of my chicken coop looking terrified a week or so ago when I went out in the morning to let the chickens out and feed them.  He is eating and doing great, and that makes me very happy, so thank you for that.

Thanks Todd,

That was a really great experience. She was a trooper. She fell from a nest as a pinky from about thirty feet, and hit the lawn and rolled to the sidewalk. Helpless, on my birthday. I researched the needs, and raised her to release and was able to do so successfully.  It was a deeply rewarding experience.

Gary, I like your signature line. That's quite inspirational.

Thank you Karen,

It was sent to me in a picture from my former employer and it was taken at a Spartan race.

Gary, no matter if you are "walking away from or walking towards something", just know that you are never walking alone. It may feel like it at times, but we all have a story to tell and have many parallels in our experiences. A line that connects us all. I've been where you are. It can seem so dark, I know. If you met me and saw that I am always smiling, you'd be blown away if you knew my story. You'd, like others, not know how I could be smiling. But I am and I will continue to.

Karen,

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I have no doubt that you have had a journey worth smiling about because you survived it.

Gary


"we do not laugh at the misfortunes of others once we have come to understand our own."

Hi Gary,I understand you situation.the term " walking away has been thrown at me more times than I care to count. I guess from most folks perspective. I am walking away.  I myself started to question my sanity untill I found this forum. I am walking toward a dream I have had most of my life. When I turned 50 , I realized That " someday was now.  And it was time. I do not want to die in the state of CT and in this rat race. I wish I could help you out .  My father gave me very few pieces of advice. The one that has stuck I. My head " it is always darkest just before dawn".   Take care and move on. Larry

Thanks Larry.

I spent most of yesterday on this forum and continues to find really interesting things about what to do and how to do it. I am moving on in a number of ways because daily I have been saying no to everything else.
I am sure I will find a good  place to start and I do expect that it will take a ton of adjustment but the effort is worth the cost of getting healthy and being better equipped to live fully in a whole health way.

Good luck with things in Connecticut.

Gary

I literally walked away from the midwest (actually I stuck out my thumb) in the early seventies and forty five years later have very few regrets.  I have always felt like those trying to go 'back to the land' in this decade have such a wonderful advantage with the interconnectedness among like minded folks due to the internet.......

best of luck to you Gary!

Hi Gary
I noticed in a recent thread you said
"So I am in Phoenix, it is shifting from summer to hell as I am told by locals and I am realizing I have never lived in the kind of environment where these things are happening. I am from Connecticut and I am not aware of anything like this there. I like the wwoofing idea and the intentional permieculture  concept a lot. My question is about residence. I simply cannot afford to maintain a residence just for the sake of having a mailing address.  How do people generally deal with that issue when making the shift to something Like a boot camp opportunity or permaculture coop or community? "
Why dont you make that your second thread ? It would sit well in the frugality forum ; It's allowed you know
I would answer my self but I live in France its a different world over here

David  

"maintain a residence just for the sake of having a mailing address"

When I lived in my car I had a post office box. The small size box was fairly cheap.

Karen Donnachaidh wrote: "maintain a residence just for the sake of having a mailing address"

When I lived in my car I had a post office box. The small size box was fairly cheap.

I think you can also, still receive mail as 'general delivery' at a most post offices.  That always worked for us if we took an extended trip and needed care packages along the way.  

Gary, welcome! We're excited to have you! I just wanted to say that I think we're all working towards a future in which there are tons and tons of already-established permaculture communities where you could just go and live. Right now the options for established communities are relatively limited but we're all very interested in changing that.

Hi Gary,
Just checking in to see if you have any news to report. Have you heard anything back from the IC you applied to? Have you applied to any more yet?

Hi Karen,

I did sign up for woofers because it seems like a good opportunity to learn about farming and permaculture and meeting people who know their stuff but I was really fascinated by what Paul is up to up at Wheaton Labs. Plus, I am road tired and need roots. I just made that official today. I will be heading up there as soon as I get wrapped up here and schedule a bus ticket.

Yay!

See you soon, Gary, and pre-welcome!

Friend that is awesome! Good luck!

Thank you Karen,

I will need it.  

Shan,

Thank you for the pre welcome. I can't wait to meet all of you!

Judith Browning wrote:

Karen Donnachaidh wrote: "maintain a residence just for the sake of having a mailing address"

When I lived in my car I had a post office box. The small size box was fairly cheap.

I think you can also, still receive mail as 'general delivery' at a most post offices.  That always worked for us if we took an extended trip and needed care packages along the way.  

There are many resources available to snow birds and full-time RVers that answer those kinds of questions. They have places set up that allow you to have an address and systems for forwarding mail and packages to wherever they are at the time.