who wouldn’t want to have it all?
There’s nothing quite as honest as spontaneity, and that really can’t happen here. The best romance you’ll ever see is the one that is least expected. In my case, that would be a real miracle because I live pretty far out in the boonies and unless I happen to run across a forest nymph or something, it ain’t gonna happen.... ~Denny
Interesting differentiation. When thinking about it, it appears that Spontaneous is seen as a positive and Impulsive is seen as a negative..... generally... but dictionary shows little difference between the 2. But I think you are right that there is a difference. The thing about motives is they can be well hidden by some which ever way you meet..... online or not. And online gives time before more obvious attractions make demands and can interfere with perception reception... perception reception.... LOL... that came out good. Anyway. I was really conned by one guy. He acted spontaneous in terms of response about stuff that really interested me.... at first. Really thought he was switched on to it. And I am not easily fooled. Well.... like to think not! But was this time. Big time. Took time for the real guy to show. He was good. He wasn't being impulsive just showed such a quick warm and immediate response to the stuff. Turned out later in front of others and behind my back he said stuff that showed how it bored him. Floored me at first. Had believed him. Enough to get engaged. Obviously didn't stay engaged. Began to wake up from lalaland.
Opportunity wrote:Hey, are you sure you aren't confusing "spontaneous" with "impulsive"? What I like about being spontaneous is that it tends to catch people off-guard, and that's when their true character comes through. E-mail, etc., gives us more time to think about things before we react to them, so sometimes the honesty gets tossed aside. I guess it all depends on the motives of the person.
Looks matter. Wasn't saying they didn't.... just that they are given a priority way out of proportion to what is really important... the things that will build trust and friendship. Let's face it. Looks deteriorate. Have to accept it. So there has to be more depth to criteria used in choosing a mate for the divorce rate to go down.
A lot of what we expect in the "looks" department is based on what's being programmed into our minds. Blame the mass-media for that one.
It does count. Someone... girl or guy... who doesn't care about such things .... doing the best with what you have....will not be one who is taking care of other things too...
Personally, I prefer a natural, modest-looking chick, while some guys prefer the more painted-up, slutty-looking type. Not that I wouldn't mind a modest, slutty one also, but I have to think about my public image too (because I'm involved in a high-profile environment as a horticultural instructor). It all counts.
There speaks wisdom and maturity... not the regular vote of the first-time-to-marry though. Who sees the harping nag in a pretty face if too little time taken to get to know what is in the heart? Amazing how much more a pretty face can get away with than an ugly one.
Anyway, you are absolutely right-on about what's in the heart, Chelle. But I think our looks are significantly impacted by our attitudes. I mean, it shows through. It's much deeper than our choice of clothing, hair-do's, and other decorations, although those things also make a statement about our character.
Let's face it... a guy loves with his eyes. And she better not be dumb about that. Is the way he is wired... but I see often that he gets upset that she is wired about how well he can take care of her... and any future family. He doesn't want to choose ugly. She doesn't want to choose poor. If he is not able to go out and conquer his world to some acceptable degree she will not have confidence he has the strength for her and children. Basic facts of life if that is all someone is looking for. He looks for beauty. She looks for strength and capability. Friendship is what they should first be looking for. A beautiful woman can become hell to live with.... as can a strong capable man. Integrate genuine friendship built on trust... and then beautiful and strong take everything to another level. And real beauty and real strength are perceived and valued. Is all I am saying... and took me nearly a book to say it.
If I really care about someone, I'm going to want her to feel confident in being seen with me, not embarrassed by my sickly appearance. I want to give her my best, and set a good example. Good health makes any relationship better. That's a good enough reason to avoid all the junk-food, drugs, etc., 'cause they take their toll on our physical looks.
All done. ~Denny
I hate to say this but I think people are getting uglier and less appealing to each other as time goes by. It makes it a lot easier to tell someone to get lost. All the junk-food, drugs, pollution, mental stress, are taking its toll on us. Maybe that explains why there are so many singles floating around despite the global over-population. Most guys can put up with a lot more crap from some chick if she’s nice to look at because at least she has some redeeming quality. And what are most of the girls looking for… ? Money.
so you might want to say, "calling all forest nymphs, imps and the like. I'd like to meet you out here in the boonies. you know where forest nymphs belong!