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for zombie attacks...or gardening

 
steward
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This is a cool instructables idea on how to spruce up your garden tool storage.



If you page through the pics, the funny thing is, he used an antique, dull scythe just for artistic flair. A permie would re-sharpen it and use that beauty!
 
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Yeah, how're you gonna cut the head off a zombie with a dull scythe?
 
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Well you could look at it as working the scythe arms or scythe muscle groups, the permaculture zombiest will use the heads for one to keep invaders out of you garden, ankle bitters they will eats the slugs all the slow moving unwanted from the garden, you could also make some nice fencing with all the arms, the other aspect think of all that bone meal!
 
pollinator
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rodney johnson wrote:Well you could look at it as working the scythe arms or scythe muscle groups, the permaculture zombiest will use the heads for one to keep invaders out of you garden, ankle bitters they will eats the slugs all the slow moving unwanted from the garden, you could also make some nice fencing with all the arms, the other aspect think of all that bone meal!



HAHAHAHAHAHA and suddenly zombie apocalypse became permaculture heaven!
 
pollinator
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kadence blevins wrote:

rodney johnson wrote:Well you could look at it as working the scythe arms or scythe muscle groups, the permaculture zombiest will use the heads for one to keep invaders out of you garden, ankle bitters they will eats the slugs all the slow moving unwanted from the garden, you could also make some nice fencing with all the arms, the other aspect think of all that bone meal!



HAHAHAHAHAHA and suddenly zombie apocalypse became permaculture heaven!



The problem is the solution!!!

 
pollinator
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I love Instructables.
 
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can we compost zombies?
 
ray Bunbury
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zombies want to eat cauliflower because looking like brain
 
pollinator
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ray Bunbury wrote:can we compost zombies?



It depends on what kind of zombie apocalypse you're in. Sometimes the zombie virus only affects humans, but sometimes, animals can also be infected. Putting zombie flesh in your compost pile could infect birds, rats, or even worms. (A worm is probably not going to have an easy time eating your brains but could transmit the disease when eaten by something else.) Eating zombie flesh directly or getting zombie fluids in a cut is another common method of transmitting zombie-ism. A root crop planted in zombie compost may have traces of the virus on it, and there's been little study of whether plants can uptake the virus through the stem, so fruits etc may also be suspect. Finally, some zombies are magical and don't rot further over time; they reach a certain stage of decomposition very quickly and stay that way forever, in which case your compost will simply never finish.

If you find yourself in the Walking Dead universe, composting zombie flesh is probably fine as long as you handle your compost pile carefully. You are already infected with the zombie virus, and are already doomed to become a zombie when you die, so there's no worry about contracting the main virus. Getting zombie goo directly in your bloodstream, or being bitten, will likely cause secondary infection and kill you, but many people have covered themselves in zombie gunk to sneak past hordes and lived to tell the tale, so I doubt careful handling of the compost with protective clothing and gloves will be an issue. If you're concerned about It, you could restrict your usage of the zombost to ornamentals and cover it with a bark mulch.
 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Meg, you crack me UP!! Such a thorough reply to ray's question!! The logic, the rationale behind potential transmission vectors...oh my.

I'm dying over here!!

 
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I have a 10ft ocean container. It's known by everyone as the Zombie Hut. I won't go into the story.....
 
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Meg Mitchell wrote:

ray Bunbury wrote:can we compost zombies?



Finally, some zombies are magical and don't rot further over time; they reach a certain stage of decomposition very quickly and stay that way forever, in which case your compost will simply never finish.

If you find yourself in the Walking Dead universe, composting zombie flesh is probably fine as long as you handle your compost pile carefully. "


My first concern with composting zombies is, how do you keep them in the compost pile long enough to compost? I'm envisioning hands crawling away, torsos dragging themselves off using their arm-stumps for leverage.
Clearly, the only way to compost a zombie is Bokashi. This way, you kill (sort of) two birds with one stone; 1. the zombies are contained (maybe a 55-gallon lidded barrel?) 2. Bokashi is well-known for killing off almost all pathogens--I'm assuming that includes the zombie virus-- and its ability to compost any biological material including meat.
However, I would follow Meg's advice and handle carefully or use only on ornamentals.
Probably the best practice is to test the finished compost for remaining pathogens. If any zombie virus is retained in the compost, it may not even be safe for ornamentals. You could very well end up with zom-bees.

 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Zombie poodles and Bokashi. Who knew those would be in a permaculture discussion here on permies.com?

Too much fun.

I thought it worthy of another picture. Here's the full project, from the Instructables link in the OP, complete with a gorgeous scythe!


 
pollinator
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You could dust the horde with mushroom spawn and lead them through your silvopasture.  Maybe tie coffee sacks full of oysters and garden giants to their back like capes.

As for composting, it seems they have more utility while mobile.  Perhaps if deterioration proceeds towards immobility, a very hot compost pile would kill most pathogens.  Or +1 for using around ornamentals, or adding to the willow feeder.
 
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Meg Mitchell wrote:...don't rot further over time; they reach a certain stage of decomposition very quickly and stay that way forever, in which case your compost will simply never finish.


I have DEFINITELY had zombie compost. Explains a lot. Goshdarn zombie worms stopping decomposition!
 
master gardener
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This thread is my laugh for a week - I had to send Meg's post to one friend, and the picture of the poodle zombies to another (who has a male standard poodle who *loves* to visit my farm), and they were a hit with both.

One of my older composts, where the worms were having an orgy in the spring despite being covered in snow, didn't sprout any zombies, but it did sprout a cantaloupe melon plant, which normally don't grow on my property (too cold and not enough sun), but it was very happy and produced 4 melons. The seed came in buckets of veggie scraps we get from a local restaurant run by a lovely lady, so I took one of the melons to her and explained it grew from her garbage, which got a good laugh also. Maybe the reason it grew is because, in fact, there were zombie worms in there, so the melon plant couldn't die?
 
Jay Angler
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The post above mentions a friend...
zombie-gingerbread
zombie gingerbread
 
Jay Angler
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Eating zombie gingerbread men does *not* appear to transfer the virus. My friend admitted she couldn't resist eating one and yet she was acting completely normally. Mind you, she still has two more in her possession, so let's hope a higher dose won't change the outcome - I strongly suspect she won't be able to resist eating them.
 
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Gardeners vs Undead
 
master gardener
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Jay Angler wrote:

it did sprout a cantaloupe melon plant,



I have melons sprouting in my compost right now!  But when I try to grow them they fail!  What's up with that??? Yes, I am yelling!
 
Jay Angler
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Rob Lineberger wrote:

Jay Angler wrote:

it did sprout a cantaloupe melon plant,



I have melons sprouting in my compost right now!  But when I try to grow them they fail!  What's up with that??? Yes, I am yelling!

I hear you! I put 4 inches of fresh compost in a slightly raised bed this spring and planted melons there. They did next to nothing. I put exactly the same compost in a 1/2 barrel to grow potatoes in, and 2 melons started spontaneously along with the potatoes. Melons are round-ish like zombie heads - and clearly they will do what they want and follow their own path, despite what any well-meaning gardener wants them to do.
 
Rob Lineberger
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Yeah, Jay!  They're sick, twisted zombie heads.
 
pollinator
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Replacing petroleum with people, during the zombie apocalypse?
IMG_20201023_102604.jpg
[Thumbnail for IMG_20201023_102604.jpg]
 
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