Southern Woman Searching for a Strong Man With a Gentle Soul

Hello, my name is Alice. I am a 35-year-old single mother who is optimistic about finding a companion, preferably within 5 years of my own age. I have been married once before and would like to marry again someday, however, I am not in a rush or willing to force a relationship. I am an independent person who is more looking to settle with someone out of a want than a need. My hope is to cross paths with a man who is willing to ease into things in a mature and realistic way.

First things first. My number one priority in life is being a mother to my teenage son. In true motherly fashion I must brag that he is the most easy going and well-rounded kid that I know. Now that he is getting older it’s time for me to start planning and focusing on what I want for my own life outside of being a mother. About motherhood, it’s best that I make it known that I had to have a hysterectomy in my 20’s so I am unable to have anymore children. I know that this is a deal breaker for some, and I have made my peace with what that means for me. I should also make it known with the intent of being completely honest that I am HSV-2 positive which is a form of herpes. Yikes! Right!? Most people hear that word, and their hair catches fire and they run screaming. Admittedly, I had my own stigmatized beliefs about it before I was aware I had it. Aside from the pride swallowing of having to disclose it to others, it’s a pretty insignificant part of my life but it’s understandable that others would have reservations about being romantically involved. I am completely open to any and all respectable questions on the subject.

Well, if you made it this far then congratulations! You may now receive the reward for bravery in the honorary form of the “Getting to Know Me” segment.

I am a caring, passionate, resilient person who carries a quiet intensity. Publicly I am a reserved and private person but in the company of trusted friends or family I can be very extroverted and playful with a good sense of humor. I enjoy cooking and homemaking, but I also like working outdoors doing physical work as well. I wouldn’t describe myself as a girly girl but I’m also not overly tom boyish either. I love being a woman and I do place a healthy amount of value in my physical appearance. I don’t smoke or drink and ideally my partner would not either. No judgment to those that do but that is not something I am willing to compromise on. I am 5’1 and would consider myself in fair physical shape but like most women I do have stretch marks and my wrinkles have begun to show. My body isn’t perfect, nor do I expect perfection, but I am also not a wreck either. I don’t own a scale, so I am not sure of my exact weight, but my guess is somewhere between 120-130lbs. Physical attraction is important to me, and I find a healthy body much more attractive than a chiseled physique.

I am close with my family and it’s important to me that the man I am with wants to participate and eventually be a part of a family unit. I consider myself to be a Christian although I do not follow organized religion and feel much more at home sitting in the woods than in a church. I am not overly political, but I do think its important to take pride in your country and fill a civic duty by voting and having productive discussions. Overall, I most identify with the Libertarian party if any party at all.

My five-year goal is to have enough money saved up to buy some land to homestead on. I live a pretty minimalistic lifestyle. I own and live in my 32 foot camper and am currently rooted in the Texas Hill Country where I plan to stay until my son graduates from high school. Moving is not currently an option for me but I am open to considering it in the future. I figure that gives me plenty of time to meet a companion and figure out whether we’re compatible or not.  I am an animal person and I have two cats that I love tremendously. I hope to one day have space for more animals including ethically raising my own animals for meat and growing my own produce.

Hopefully that covers the basics for now and it wasn’t too long to read through. If you are interested in getting to know one another, please send me a basic bio about yourself with a recent photo and I will respond privately if I decide it’s beneficial to continue a conversation.

Best wishes,
Alice

Hi I'm jay nice to meet you

Hey there southern woman, you done a great job here on your post. I'm older than you , but I admire your honesty and person you are . I'm just glad to meet a woman from the outdoors . and that can survive in a camper. The world is tuff out there, And crazy things happen, to a lot of us, and do t know why. I know from exsperirnce too. I've been off grid for a long time and by myself. A lot of people think off grid living isa way of running from the system, and things in life. But what they know it's a simple way of life and a cure for what ills you. What ever it may be. Solitude, quietness, and peace of mind is good for the sole. In just a old veteran  ,with some knowledge to share. So any time ya want to chat ,I'm here in the Ozone doing my thing. , And curing my sole

Jr. Gibson wrote:Hey there southern woman, you done a great job here on your post. I'm older than you , but I admire your honesty and person you are . I'm just glad to meet a woman from the outdoors . and that can survive in a camper. The world is tuff out there, And crazy things happen, to a lot of us, and do t know why. I know from exsperirnce too. I've been off grid for a long time and by myself. A lot of people think off grid living isa way of running from the system, and things in life. But what they know it's a simple way of life and a cure for what ills you. What ever it may be. Solitude, quietness, and peace of mind is good for the sole. In just a old veteran  ,with some knowledge to share. So any time ya want to chat ,I'm here in the Ozone doing my thing. , And curing my sole

Thank you for helping me feel welcome Jr. Gibson. It's not easy putting yourself all the way out there but I've found it to be most rewarding once you get past the uncomfortable part. I am always appreciative to hear the words of those more experienced than myself. Thank you for your service, and happy belated Veterans Day!

Lucky me! I've gotten 10 flags thus far. I wonder what it could be that offended someone so much? Don't worry darlin, as far as I know you can't catch it through a computer screen ;)

Alice Perry wrote:Lucky me! I've gotten 10 flags thus far. I wonder what it could be that offended someone so much? Don't worry darlin, as far as I know you can't catch it through a computer screen

Flags are ways to bring attention to a post, not because you offended someone  They are a good thing.

Trace Oswald wrote:

Alice Perry wrote:Lucky me! I've gotten 10 flags thus far. I wonder what it could be that offended someone so much? Don't worry darlin, as far as I know you can't catch it through a computer screen

Flags are ways to bring attention to a post, not because you offended someone  They are a good thing.

Oh, then (non-sarcastically this time) lucky me! Red flags usually connotate negativity and I just assumed someone was reporting my post. Thank you for clarifying.

Woops! So it has now been made abundantly clear to me that flags are a good thing. Thank you to everyone who has flagged me. I think I'll leave my asinine comment for future generations to learn that flags are friends :)

Sooooo cute, if I was 20 years younger.... LOL

Tom

[quote=Tom Berens]Sooooo cute, if I was 20 years younger.... LOL

Tom[/quote]

Why thank you for the encouragement Tom!

You sound absolutely amazing and you are so beautiful I'm 34 going on 35 I am 5'7-5'8 I'm not fat but not thin lol Im a total foodie I'm loving caring affectionate great listener I love cuddling I cook I dislike liars and cheaters I just wanna fall in love and be loved back I would love to get to know you and see where it goes

Jon Fox wrote:You sound absolutely amazing and you are so beautiful I'm 34 going on 35 I am 5'7-5'8 I'm not fat but not thin lol Im a total foodie I'm loving caring affectionate great listener I love cuddling I cook I dislike liars and cheaters I just wanna fall in love and be loved back I would love to get to know you and see where it goes

Thank you Jon. How about sending me a "purple moosage" with a more in depth bio and a photo attached. There may be a better way, but from what I can tell, you can attach a photo as a URL like so: Photo

I know it's a hassle, and most men aren't big fans of photos. However, it is a necessary part of the courtship process.

How are you doing? My name is Allen. I'm 38. Would definitely like to get to know you.  My dream is to live off the land and be off grid.

A little guidance to help save some time…

When you follow a woman’s suggestion on how best to court her, you increase your chances of making a good impression and exhibit the quality of being a good listener.

Thank you to the men who have sent more than a few vague sentences and at least tried to send photos. It’s kind of confusing so here’s a link I found that explains how to attach photos to you profile. Use the same concept with the "purple mooseages" by selecting the "Img" tab . It’s no more of an effort than I am willing to give myself.

As a means to simplify things and hopefully reduce the amount of times I have to repeat myself, here is my personal proclamation on initial communication methods:

I do not give out my personal contact information like email or phone number nor will I contact you through yours until I feel like we have a well-established rapport. This is not meant to scold anyone or knock others style of communication; it’s only meant to clarify my own. My preference is the oh so convenient “purple mooseage” feature that the forum provides. Certainly, you can understand that as a single woman this is the initial communication method I am most comfortable with. Also, I do not have Facebook or any Facebook related applications such as Instagram or WhatsApp etc. so that won’t work either.

Hopefully this doesn’t seem too demanding or overcomplicated. I just think it’s important to communicate what your needs are.

This message was brought to you by the number 22, because I am a total grownup who has a favorite number. Happy Monday and thank you for listening 😉

Rex Powell wrote:How are you doing? My name is Allen. I'm 38. Would definitely like to get to know you.  My dream is to live off the land and be off grid.

Hello Allen. How about sending me a "purple mooseage" with a short bio and a photo attached.

Hi lady, I'm another lady who is impressed by your post and your honesty and clarity. I am wondering if you've ever heard of The Ringing Cedars Series by Vladimir Megre (about a woman living without belongings in the woods of Russia - her name is Anastasia). I have loved reading it.

(It's kind of hard to find so I could help with that - I think it's best in print, but some folks have scanned them in online) ...

The USA Anastasia Foundation just formed and they just started an online forum. One of the things it helps is with is finding a mate to create a family domain with. I think a pre-requisite is to have read at least some of the books, to be on a similar wavelength with similar mindset. https://anastasia.foundation/

They have Zoom calls, YT videos, and links to folks building these family homesteads.

Ruth

Ruth Amanda wrote:Hi lady, I'm another lady who is impressed by your post and your honesty and clarity. I am wondering if you've ever heard of The Ringing Cedars Series by Vladimir Megre (about a woman living without belongings in the woods of Russia - her name is Anastasia). I have loved reading it.

(It's kind of hard to find so I could help with that - I think it's best in print, but some folks have scanned them in online) ...

The USA Anastasia Foundation just formed and they just started an online forum. One of the things it helps is with is finding a mate to create a family domain with. I think a pre-requisite is to have read at least some of the books, to be on a similar wavelength with similar mindset. https://anastasia.foundation/

They have Zoom calls, YT videos, and links to folks building these family homesteads.

Ruth

Thank you for sharing your interests with me Ruth. Anastasianism is an interesting concept and I very much respect the religious rights of others. However, I did not post to this forum in search of a religious/political party to join and must say that by not revealing the full intention of your movement your post could be seen as misleading.

hello Alice,
my name is Don and I was born in Texas but live in the rainforest of Puerto Rico.  I have plenty of land and I am looking to share it with kind nurturing souls who want to live a more indigenous life in balance with nature.  Please let me know if this appeals to you.  I would write more however I have doubts that anything I write here actually is being receieved.  My instagram is bluegreenearthschoolpr.  You can see pictures of the space there and message me there also.  I loved what you wrote and I would love to at least make a friend.

Don

Don Toler wrote:hello Alice,
my name is Don and I was born in Texas but live in the rainforest of Puerto Rico.  I have plenty of land and I am looking to share it with kind nurturing souls who want to live a more indigenous life in balance with nature.  Please let me know if this appeals to you.  I would write more however I have doubts that anything I write here actually is being receieved.  My instagram is bluegreenearthschoolpr.  You can see pictures of the space there and message me there also.  I loved what you wrote and I would love to at least make a friend.

Don

Hello Don,

It sounds like you have something exciting going on! I don't have an Instagram or any other Facebook related apps with which to view any related profiles. All pictures would need to be posted on this thread or sent through Purple mosseages. As lovely as moving to the rainforest sounds, I don't think I could bear to be that far away from my family. Thank you for your message and good luck with your vision.

-Alice

Jaxon Faught wrote:I see you posted some time ago, did you find your off grid paradise yet? Your post was very detailed and informative. I have 140 acres N.E. N.M. let me know if you'd like to know more.

Hi Jaxon,

Yes, I would like to know more. Why don't you send me a Purple mooseage with a detailed bio and a better photo of yourself. Are you searching for a partner, or just looking for community? To make things easier I am searching for a partner, and have created a fairly detailed bio stating the concept of what I am looking for with more information on what I am like as a person. Feel free to read it and send a private reply, or don't if I am not what you are searching for.

-Alice

Here is another picture as requested.  Lol
The end of another long work day. 😴

Jaxon Faught wrote:Here is another picture as requested.  Lol
The end of another long work day. 😴

What striking blue eyes you have! Thank you for remembering to send a photo. I noticed on another woman's post you said you are 45. This is a thriving and robust age for a man, however, I am looking for a man closer to my own age of 35. Hopefully this is understandable.

Thriving and robust never heard old put that way. LOL. No problem, completely understandable. Good luck in your search.

Jaxon Faught wrote:Thriving and robust never heard old put that way. LOL. No problem, completely understandable. Good luck in your search.

I don't think 45 is old, just older than what I am looking for. Good luck to you also!

Hi my name is Jon I'm 34 almost 35 single never married no kids I'm looking for a long term relationship with someone I find amazing I'm easy going attentive a great listener I'm a cuddler I love music and movies and adventuring out in nature even if weather is not so nice
With my picture it is recent but the hair can go if need be I just had it because of the colder weather if interested here is my email mustangjllk@yahoo.com hope to hear from have a nice day

Jon Fox wrote:Hi my name is Jon I'm 34 almost 35 single never married no kids I'm looking for a long term relationship with someone I find amazing I'm easy going attentive a great listener I'm a cuddler I love music and movies and adventuring out in nature even if weather is not so nice
With my picture it is recent but the hair can go if need be I just had it because of the colder weather if interested here is my email mustangjllk@yahoo.com hope to hear from have a nice day

Hello Jon,

I'm not sure if you are aware that neither your most recent inquiry nor your previous one included a photo. Also, I will reiterate the fact that I will not respond through email. Please use the purple mooseage feature if you are uncomfortable sharing openly on the forum.

-Alice

I  like your energy , if I was a bit younger ......

It has been a year since creating this post, and although I have met many interesting people and experienced wonderful conversations, I have yet to connect with a significant match. I’m thinking it may be time to update my post and add a few more recent photos. So, if you come across this post and are curious to find out if you and I might be the right fit for one another, feel free to reach out as my post is still relevant. Please also include a bio with a recent picture of yourself. Preferably at least one without sunglasses. I promise I won’t think you are any less cool without them.

I'm 36, with 1,500 acres in South Dakota. My family has been ranching here for +7 generations, but I am moving away from the conventional ag practices towards permaculture.
I find the most inspiration from Andrew Millison.
I have already started with keyline trenches and I've planted over 700 trees.

I was divorced in 2020 after helping my partner of +5 years realize her desire to date women. This is related to my general inclination to be non-monogamous, which does not mean polyamory necessarily (I have tried that, it was a bit too much for me). But I do like to be in relationship where open and honest conversation about attraction can be discussed and neither person believes they "own" the other person.  Emotional fidelity is very important to me, much more than physical fidelity. But that's a long complex conversation that I brought up to explain my current state of being:
I'm currently single and after +2 years of dating, I've stopped dating.
I'm just working on the ranch and farm, with a focus on finding kindred spirits interested in working on the pursuit of self-sufficiency and fulfilling stewardship. Romance is not as important as shared interest to me. I may like women, but I would be happy to welcome any person/people of any gender identity/expression to join myself and my friends in this work out here. I'd prefer to know someone for years before even considering a relationship.

I'm committed to decolonization and I lean towards a DGR/Social Ecology (see Murray Bookchin) philosophy. I often listen to podcasts and audiobooks 4 to 8 hours a day, and would love to find someone similarly passionate about learning and teaching. I also love to sing and dance and would love to have more friends to sing and dance with... I actually perform in the cities on the weekend to earn extra revenue for the ranch. I drink too much beer and I have been smoking one cigar a day lately... I'd prefer to spend my sunset hours doing CrossFit, yoga, swimming, or trail running though. While I need time to myself, it is undeniable that I am an extrovert who gets energy from interacting with others. I am also happier and healthier when I have good networks/groups/communities around healthy activities (there are no fitness. groups nearby, I use my rowing machine throughout the week and I go to the city gym on weekends). Despite my love of CrossFit, I am not a "bro" in any way.
I have been known as a "queer-hippie-cowboy" for years because I present as a traditional cowboy in many ways, except for my frequently bare feet, and my unabashed ability to express my "feminine side"...  which simply involves cooking, singing, dancing, practicing empathy, nonviolent communication, art, design and some other things the more traditional neighbors label as "gay" or "weak".

I also like to connect with spiritual groups like Buddhists, Unitarians, Pagans, and other types of naturalistic/contemplative spirituality.
While I'm responding here to you, Sara, I'm obviously writing this to the broader Permie Community because I'm interested in meeting anyone/everyone who is even remotely interested in practicing permaculture in South Dakota.

Alice, I must say, you're intimidatingly attractive and I have no idea if you'd even consider relocating to the middle of South Dakota, but, I thought I'd respond all the same, because, as I mentioned above, mutual interest is more important than romantic/carnal connection.

Nick Starr wrote:
I was divorced in 2020 after helping my partner of +5 years realize her desire to date women. This is related to my general inclination to be non-monogamous, which does not mean polyamory necessarily (I have tried that, it was a bit too much for me). But I do like to be in relationship where open and honest conversation about attraction can be discussed and neither person believes they "own" the other person.  Emotional fidelity is very important to me, much more than physical fidelity.

Nick Starr wrote:While I'm responding here to you, Sara, I'm obviously writing this to the broader Permie Community because I'm interested in meeting anyone/everyone who is even remotely interested in practicing permaculture in South Dakota.

Alice, I must say, you're intimidatingly attractive and I have no idea if you'd even consider relocating to the middle of South Dakota, but, I thought I'd respond all the same, because, as I mentioned above, mutual interest is more important than romantic/carnal connection.

Nick,

Thank you for sending such a great introduction and being willing to share openly about yourself. I may add however, that in the future you might want to double check that you have removed the previous woman’s name from it completely before sending it to the next 😉. Granted, the personalized compliment at the bottom is a nice touch that I do appreciate.

From what I have read, you sound like a fascinating person who no doubt leads an interesting and passion driven life. I do feel we differ quite a bit in our concepts and notions around physical fidelity. I think it’s perfectly acceptable that you have such a liberal view on monogamy, but I am looking for an exclusive partner with the intention of becoming lifelong companions through marriage. It doesn’t seem that we align in this area, but I appreciate your consideration and wish you luck in your search on Permies!

Best wishes,
Alice

Hello there my name is Brian and I live in Alaska interior. You are very pretty and I'm a deathpunch fan also. My contact information is bsmith011987@gmail.com ph#9072035505. I'm interested in finding a life partner to share my life with. I own land and live off the land and work three jobs to make ends meet. Im seeking a trustworthy companion to  explore the territory with and grow old with. I love the native culture and want to share my life with someone I can trust with everything I have. Marriage is not an option but if you trust me I'll do my best to make you feel whole and complete. Life is a journey I don't want to spend it alone anymore!

Hey Alice hope your days going good. Im james born and raised on a working ranch in California and moved moved away after i graduated been working on the road as a pipe line welder and firefighter in the summer and slowly homesteading on my time off. I currently have 3 acres trying the urban homesteading lifestyle with chickens, ducks, goats and two free range pigs. Then i have cattle and horses on 50 acres i lease. Looking for a chance to settle down and finally have a family and life something that will hopefully ground me and allow me to spend more free time doing what i care about.

thanks for reading this sort ridiculous message about myself that i feel like i just told the whole world.  

Mitchell Smith wrote:Im seeking a trustworthy companion to  explore the territory with and grow old with. I love the native culture and want to share my life with someone I can trust with everything I have. Marriage is not an option but if you trust me I'll do my best to make you feel whole and complete. Life is a journey I don't want to spend it alone anymore!

Hello Brian,

I can respect that marriage is not an option for you. Although in reading your desire it sounds as if a marriage is what you are looking for. Do you mind if I ask your reasons for not wanting to marry the woman you expect to trust with everything you have? I'm not judging your decision, I would just like to understand it if possible. I thought that I never wanted to be married again after going through my divorce, and discovered after being with a man for 3 years who did not want to get married, that I in fact did want to be married someday. For this reason I don't know that I would be the best match for you seeing as how I have already discovered this truth about myself and my own desires. You can send me a private message if you would like to talk more.

-Alice

james coba wrote:Looking for a chance to settle down and finally have a family and life something that will hopefully ground me and allow me to spend more free time doing what i care about

Hello James,

You sound like the type of man I would like to learn more about. I'm wondering if you saw the part in my bio that explains that I am unable to physically have more children? If having children is what you mean when you refer to "family life" I am unfortunately not able to provide that. If you would like you can send me a "purple mooseage" that way you don't have to reply publicly and we can talk more in depth. Thank you for reaching out and being willing to put yourself out there. I admire that in a man as it shows that you are willing to conquer your fears and take healthy chances. Hope to hear back!

-Alice

Alice...........I think a little boost to your thread is in order, so here one is. I must say, you seem to have one of the more put-together, organized, least vague, and thinking-ahead posts in this subforum that I have come across in a while. Refreshing. You've laid yourself and your general, broad spectrum goals and desires out fairly well, I would say, and given people a decent initial insight into who you are, what you are all about, and what you are searching for and hope to find in a man, husband, and life. It will hopefully also not escape past and future viewers of your thread that you have exhibited no small level of tact in gently handling some of these replies............haha.

It does indeed appear that you have kept yourself up, have taken care of yourself, and have nice long hair (hey, that's a huge plus for a woman, viewed from a man's perspective, haha), your devotion to raising your son as best you can is admirable, and your desire to someday grow and raise your own produce and meat animals will appeal to the members of this forum, and your desire to realize some version of all this walking through life with a husband is endearing. You have also been forthright and honest in sharing some of what you have about yourself, to be upfront with others as to possible deal breakers that you see in interested men, or that men may see in you, and this can not be easy, so kudos to you for putting yourself out here in this manner, but, I suppose this will also conveniently greatly narrow down the window of possibilities that you devote time to prospecting, which is probably nice.

Now, for fun, and to further inform those who may prove interested in you, what say you about some more questions? When your son is finished with school, and you begin to (hopefully) have some chunk of money saved up to begin a serious search for some suitable piece of land to begin realizing some of your homesteading and food production dreams, have you given thought to what manner of piece of land you are looking for? What characteristics? And what about the number of acres? 5? 10? 20? Or perhaps only 3-5? Will you try to remain in and find a piece of land in the hill country of Texas? Or will you look elsewhere? If so, what other areas intrigue you or seem practical (these days perhaps even down to price, because some areas of Texas are getting absolutely outrageous in price per acre, considering the quality of the land, which while I loooooove Texas, is really not often that "great" of actual land/earth, and stuuuuuupid prices the past few years)? Has your son expressed interest in any of your lifestyle goals as well, or is that not really much of his thing yet?

In regard to the aspect of children, child-rearing, family, etc, you have been upfront in stating that you are not able to have any more children, and you stated that you know how much of a deal-breaker this could be for many men, now, pertaining to this aspect of life, and of being married, would you say that you will also be "done with" and totally past raising kids, period, or, if you were to meet the right man, and become married, and he had not had the chance to have children with a woman, but greatly desired them, would you find yourself open to the idea of, and energy, and time, and lifestyle factors, of perhaps adopting a couple or a few children, and raising more kids, in order that the man you find could have the family he might have wanted, and the two of you raise this family together, even though you would be starting round two of this a bit later in life by that time? This could open things up a bit to the right man, and allow another route for him to realize some of this, depending on if you were able and willing to take this sort of thing on.

Well Alice, time for me to check out of here on this beautiful day outside. Hopefully this "bump" will give more people a look at your thread and profile, as well as give you a chance to shed more light on some of these matters, and see if perhaps you can attract the right type of man for you.

Best wishes to you in your search for this man, or his searching for you, and may our Creator cause you both to intersect in your life paths in one way or another.

Hi Alice, here is my photo!

Quick update: I have met the man I have been praying for and will no longer be responding to romantic inquiries. Thank you to everyone who has either given me advice, encouragement, or just a kind conversation. I wish you all the best and pray for your good fortune and blessings!

-Alice