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am I the only one?

 
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several years ago I posted an offering for helper or helpers at my place, I thought it was very generous offer for someone and got a few responses but no one was really serious. recently someone found the listing and asked if offer was still open, and, I responded saying sure, why not?, come on out and we can meet, you can get good look around and see what's going on and we can take it from their. again I thought this was very reasonable. but I have sent a couple messages since this and no response.
 
gardener
Posts: 622
Location: Western Kentucky
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Such behavior is practically the norm where I live. What's even worse is trying to sell something. People will call, excited, making sure it's still available, "can you hold it for me?!" they'll say. You make plans to stay available all that day and......nothing. No showing up, no call, no text, nothing. I guess that's just the world today.
 
pollinator
Posts: 114
Location: Central Indiana, zone 6a, clay loam
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I definitely don't think you're alone in experiencing that. A little different, but when we first got our home and land, seemingly all our friends were super excited about it and saying how much they would love to come help with the garden, the house, etc. But then when I actually told them we were getting ready to do stuff they offered to help with, no response. Likewise, seems when I have serendipitously met other permie type folk locally, there's all this talk of hanging out, swapping seeds/plants, etc. I try to follow up on when, nothing.
I imagine people are probably just busy and forget, but it puzzles me nonetheless. I'm sure this is not true for everyone, but it seems to me that many of the permie-ish people I know personally are more introverted and/or struggle with social interaction a bit. That could certainly contribute to the behavior you describe. I bet much of it too is just that it's easier to flake or ignore someone when your interactions are through a screen of some kind and you don't have to look at them or consider their experience so much. Especially if there is not an established in person connection.
 
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I had orchards and berry patches, I would tell people "you can have all you want just give me a quarter of your finished product"...if you make ten pints of jelly, gimme 2....if you make an apple pie gimme a slice, if you press a gallon of cider gimme a cup, I made this invitation for seven years running, in community forums and churches all over my area.
To date the bears, squirrels, and birds are the only takers, pears, apples, plums, and cherries, blackberries, strawberries, raspberries, hit the ground every season, in every church I have attended in the past seven years two or three families at minimum are on public assistance.
With some people, even if I picked it, and processed it, I swear I'd have to hit them in the jaw to help them masticate
 
Jordan Holland
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Posts: 622
Location: Western Kentucky
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Bill Haynes wrote:I had orchards and berry patches, I would tell people "you can have all you want just give me a quarter of your finished product"...if you make ten pints of jelly, gimme 2....if you make an apple pie gimme a slice, if you press a gallon of cider gimme a cup, I made this invitation for seven years running, in community forums and churches all over my area.
To date the bears, squirrels, and birds are the only takers, pears, apples, plums, and cherries, blackberries, strawberries, raspberries, hit the ground every season, in every church I have attended in the past seven years two or three families at minimum are on public assistance.
With some people, even if I picked it, and processed it, I swear I'd have to hit them in the jaw to help them masticate



That's how it is here. People will have a huge garden and end up with more of something than they can handle. They will advertise it on the local radio for free. Then the phone calls start coming in. "Did you advertise the free beans?" "Yes." "Are they already picked?" "No, but they are ready right now, and easy to get to. There's just too many for us to handle. You can pick all you want." "Oh, never mind."
 
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Location: Omaha, United States
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I offered gas money to go anywhere in the US for helping me to help someone else. No takers. Pauls rules apply at my place, that scared them off. My offer is now off the table. I swear a lot to my self. Thor helps those who help themselves, Just saying.
 
Posts: 17
Location: Dunn county, WI
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I have heard of this often enough, in my quite limited interactions with the world ( in-person or online) to figure this is pretty common. So sorry ! You may want to try Workaway.info . It works like craigslist, as far as secure email relay correspondence until you decide to share other contact information with someone, and it's free to sign up as a host. Like with everything else, you may get those you don't hear back from, don't show up or decide to leave sooner than planned, but I have had really good experiences, myself. I don't know how it's all going, what with covid and all, as I paused our hosting due to moving and dealing with other things. In the 2 years I was doing it, we had about 5 workawayers stay with us, one left early due to changing plans. All were lovely young people who were hard workers, and enriched my life. I had a few other I had to turn away due to things going on in our lives, and the 1 or 2 who I didn't hear from after first few initial contacts. Anyone may be using the site for any reason, but most seem to be those who are using it to travel for fun and social or educational experiences gained by it. Since sustainable/natural living type things are popular among these types of people, there seems to be a high amount who would be attracted to a permaculture, homestead or similar type host. It helps if you live near other cool attractions, I'm sure. We didn't, really, and aren't the coolest people or had much variety on our homestead yet at the time ( we keep moving, for various reasons), and we still got applicants ! Hosts supply room and board ( meals) and can't work the guest more than 25 hours per week or 5 hours per day, per last I knew. Along with a few other work guidelines relevant to those operating a business with employees. Their travel expenses are on them, but you should help them figure out how to get to you, and obviously, may need to go a bus or train or plane to get them. I always tried to meet at a public place first, especially when sending my husband ( he worked in the city) to pick up the girls, and texted them his picture , to help them feel safe and even though I know he's totally trustworthy, I don't encourage girls to take risks. There are a few other sites like this, which I haven't checked into much yet, one is help-stay I think. Permaculture Haven ( a youtuber in AU ) started one themselves, I forget if there's is the help-stay one, or is another name. I found out about it on a vlog of theirs. Of course, if can be a lot of hassle, and no way to know if you'll get a helper in time for a project you'll be doing at a certain time, but it can be way better than no help ever ! Also, be thoughtful about if you'll need them to speak english fluently to be able to help you with certain things. God bless, everyone !
 
pollinator
Posts: 385
Location: Nomadic
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It can take a lot of patience and time to coordinate “farm stays”, volunteering, internships, etc. I had maybe 20 or so folks come to stay at my Permaculture site. It took a lot of effort on my part but was worth it. Now I’m semi nomadic and am the one visiting and volunteering. I’m finding it very challenging to connect with “hosts” largely because plans change, communication issues, financial issues, health issues, and timing. Getting the timing to work out is harder than I thought. For example, I’m getting ready to to leave for California and Arizona and have no contacts there yet. That’s because my plans changed due to health and financial concerns. I was going to have shoulder surgery but I cancelled it. I thought I wasn’t going to leave but now I can. And the virus concerns has me vacillating on my plans.
 
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Location: North Eastern Ontario, Canada Zone 3B
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I too have experienced a lack of follow through.
So many have been interested and I've extended the same offer,  come check out our homestead, stay a few days or more in a tent or our trailer in exchange for a few hours help with chores or a project. We are 6 hrs from a major city and 45 mins from a fair sized town.
I detailed exactly what type of homestead we have so there were no shocks, and let them know to bring their own food that they could cook and cleanup after themselves in a tented outdoor kitchen.
I've had 2 take us up on that offer to date (4 years since we first offered). Both couples were, in my opinion, unprepared for this life at their current juncture. I hope they left with an eye opening experience as well as a continued drive to live this way. It's a great life. As for the return, there wasn't much help they could provide given their inexperience.
I've given up offering. It's too much effort. It's sad though because I would have loved the experience myself but also didn't know how to find it.
 
pollinator
Posts: 373
Location: Monticello Florida zone 8a
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