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unexpectedly single early adopter permaculture practioner 60(?!) seeking ally/lover

Rick Valley

Joined: Mar 12, 2012
Posts: 18
If anyone had told me a year ago that I (who had no intention of marriage or moving in to town) would be a widower engaged in suburban homesteading with my daughter... What other surprises does life have to offer?
singles sh*t: I'm active, fit. Bike, hike, cook, seed save, graft, rock hound. comfortable in a Spanish-only atmosphere, (Spanglish rocks!) chase music events, (Cheb i Sabah, Ozomatli, Seun Kuti, Dead Prez, James McMurtry- go figure) ramble in botanic Latin, go to talks at the U. Oregon Country Fair. If you ask around permaculture circles you'll find someone who knows me probly. Not bound permanently to Eugene, but a bit tired of moving around. I DO like W.Oregon, but have ranged from the Salish Sea to N.Cali for 40 years now. And I can build a house, stone wall, 1/2 acre pond, turn a tree into a beam or tool handle, all that sort of handy stuff. I don't figure to check out soon; the men in my family live into their 90's usually, but hey I've used up a bunch of my 9 lives I'm pretty good at communicating. Patient. All things in moderation. Especially moderation.
Gay Wiseman

Joined: Jun 17, 2012
Posts: 1
Hey, Hi Rick, you sound interesting to me; I jived with your music-chasing, and your comment about moderation, that's my motto too.

I was also abruptly widowed, but it's been almost 4 years now. For the first 3 years I didn't have much interest in another relationship but I have a pretty solitary life in my cabin in the woods and now get just plain lonely, AND there's too dang much work to do living in the backwoods solo. But really, I'm grateful for these years of... "self-centering". I don't mean that in the sense of being self-ISH, but in the sense of learning a ton about who I am when I'm NOT making the compromises a person makes to interweave life with another person or a family. My kids are all off on their own and I'm a whole lot clearer about my own druthers now that I've had, for the first time in my life, the chance to live alone long enough to get a little bored with it. I notice that I get really bubbly and talkative these days when I do get visitors, or when I head into town for a festival or something... like I'm starved for conversation. I guess I am.

I live in the canyon of the N. Fk. of the American River, northern CA Sierras, roughly between Sacto and Tahoe. 4000' elev, mixed forest, a wonderful, mostly wild place, 25 acres, mostly steep forested slopes, with a spring and several seeps that have never gone completely dry though it's always a concern. I've lived on this ridge since 1980, two different homesteads. I'm completely off the grid now with a solar system. I want a micro-hydro generator to supplement the solar panels in winter when runoff down the spring-flow ravine stays full. I get snowed in routinely in winter, though snow here is rarely too deep for too long. I used to commute an hour 2-3 days a week to teach, but dropped even that almost 2 years ago. The land's paid off and I'm way frugal, so somehow I manage. I always have plenty of work to keep me busy, most of it non-paying (by choice; I am not much motivated by money, though there was a time...). Now though, at this point in my life I value my freedom and time too highly to give up much of either to work for a paycheck. At least as long as I can scrape by.

I have dabbled in a couple of dating sites, but never went beyond the free trial period, can't stand spending so much time at the computer. Or paying money for it. I already spend plenty of time under my laptop as part of the work I do, and it's often what I want a break FROM. So, computer dating hasn't worked so great for me. I also have doubts about really finding a GOOD match-up online... I confess that "chemistry" matters when I think about any intimate (sexual +) relationship, but I've learned that's only one of the things I want a partner for. So, here's the rub; here's where I always stumble up trying to write about a desired partner—how does one say, with any tact, one of the primary things I want is someone to help with the WORK? Well, there, I just said it, we'll see how THAT goes.

I also love to dance... freestyle, mostly... wherever live music happens... and I do that plenty without any partner at all, but contact improv dancing has begun to be fun, and I've never really learned to do any kind of partner dancing... it would be a blast to get into that with someone. I think and read and write a lot. I make art, and usually have some craft going on, lately making jewelry has been my arty bag. I'm pretty athletic, in good shape physically. I'm seriously into badminton, such a fun and fast sport; I got a group together that plays twice a week in the nearest town with an indoor gym, and those are the times I arrange all my town errands around. (Still looking for my perfect mixed doubles badminton partner!) I eat mostly simple whole foods in seasonal combinations, love foraging, canning, drying cooking all kinds of foods. (Of course, that probably goes without saying, being as we're on the permies site.) Except meat. Raising meat animals here is not a good idea because of the wildlife I share this place with—so I forego. Easily too. There are so many great food choices, I don't miss meat in the slightest, haven't eaten more than a couple of bites of it in my whole adult life.

I'll conclude with the, uh, perhaps harsher realities about myself... I'm opinionated, and can be a bit hot-headed (in contrast to your self-description as patient.) I am patient about SOME things, but on issues where my fundamental values are concerned (like about things that affect the health of the planet and her sentient beings) I can be judgemental and critical and all too likely to speak my mind. I am not religious in the slightest; I can "let the mystery be". Oh, and, I never shave anywhere (don't expect others to, either). I use no makeup; I make my own lip balm, and ointment, that's about the extent of my cosmetics. Think simple, natural, gently aging hippy ; ) and if that doesn't turn you off, get in touch back!

Nice meeting you,


"It’s not complicated. It’s the same for every human: Your job is to consciously, intensely, bravely become who you are." (Cary Tennis)
Rick Valley

Joined: Mar 12, 2012
Posts: 18
Hi Gay; sometime before the summer is over I'll be down to Big Bend (Shasta County) and would love to stick a foot in the American again, And I've an invite to visit Amigo Bob in Nevada City, and a long-standing craving to pick olives in the fall, and haven't seen Guy Baldwin in Bangor since the early 90's. So undoubtedly we could meet up face to face in the not too distant. My easiest email is my name+my last name(valley) with no dots,caps or anything, at gmail if you want easier contact. I can remember playing badminton once upon a time- it's been almost 50 years since I played enough to feel like I was learning, but it was a blast on a lawn. I can even remember using a birdie with real feathers a couple times...
subject: unexpectedly single early adopter permaculture practioner 60(?!) seeking ally/lover